News and a test

Ok, so I jumped on the iPhone wagon..trying this from my phone.

I'll write more later but I'm engaged!!!!!

Haiti

I know it's been a while since I've blogged! I need to update my browser, but haven't had a chance to yet plus my computer wasn't cooperating. Definitley on my to do list when I get a chance.

Right now, I'm in Haiti!! Yes, I know I'm the world traveler lately. God is so good! I'm a part of a team of La. Baptists who are looking at establishing a partnership with a pastor to build a medical clinic, orphanage and a church. I've only been here since Thursday but already have been overwhelmed by what I've seen and learned.

Here's a few things I've learned/seen:

• It can cost between $6-$10 a day to feed an orphan. I easily spend that on one meal!
• Water is a precious valuable resource. Clean water- even better. I learned this truth as I was without water for the past two days and didn't get a shower until today. And whten I saw a man gather water with a bucket from a muddy pothole-full of mud and rainwater.
• The power of touch is amazing. Hugs are the universal language for kids.
• Samiritan's Purse is making a huge impact on Haiti- I saw several tarps with their logo on it. It's good to see a minstry using donations for the actual purpose.
• Families living on the side of the road in a house of tarp and poles.
• A once barren mountain area known as Caanan- now a tent city of half a million people. Yes, a half million.
• Churches in the area being planted.
• Voodoo services right next to my window. Makes for interesting noise to fall asleep to.
• Seeing kids sing Jesus Loves Me and Father Abraham in Creole.
• I have no desire to live here but definitley want to come back.

So excited to what God is going to do.

A Love Story

 I'm trying to be a better blogger! I was thinking about what I could blog about no exciting trips lately (lot of travel but nothing exciting), work is work..but life has been pretty great the past few months! So I thought I would write about the beautiful love story God has written over the past few months. There's a lot of beautiful details and it would fill an entire book but here's a little bit of it. 


Back in December 2010, one of my dear friends got engaged. I was thrilled for her but her engagement officially made me the last of my close friends to be single. That night, I cried out to the Lord, "Where is he? I know You know, but I don't know what else to do." In my spirit, I felt the Lord gently whisper to me "Give me six months." That's the first time I had ever heard a specific time frame from Him other than "soon." But His timing and our are the not same so I had no idea how long it would really be. The next few months were a wonderful time (yet challenging) of waiting on the Lord and preparing for Rwanda and Brazil. 


At the end of April 2011, one my friends suggested I try match.com. I laughed- I had tried online dating before and was certain it was not for me- not part of my story. She insisted and I gave in- giving it one month. If I met someone-great..if not, okay. I saw a few profiles I was interested in and clicked "yes" on some of them that came through the "daily 5" matches they gave me. There was one that really caught my eye and I clicked yes. I wasn't entirely sure what clicking yes meant, but did it anyway. 3 days later, May 3, I got an email from D, the my yes! It was brief, but kind (and not pushy!!) We emailed back and forth and realized we knew alot of the same people, had a lot in common, ministry, BCM..you name it. We emailed back and forth (and FB) for about 3 weeks before I left for Rwanda. We texted while I was gone too- our first date wasn't for another month. At first, I thought it was moving too slow, but now, am so thankful for that month to really get to know each other. Our first date was in June and lasted 6 hours!! Our second date was a few weeks later and also lasted 6 hours! (We love our marathon dates!) Our second date was when I realized this was different from anything I had ever experienced. We didn't see each other for a month because of my trip to Brazil and camps for him...that was brutal!!! Our reunion was another marathon date and then I realized...he was the one I prayed all this time for. 


God's timing is absolutely perfect..He wrote this story in a way only He could do. There are so many little things that fit into place: where I was three years ago, where he was three years ago, the paths He had us take..all put together to write a beautiful story. Here's the funniest little piece: D and I both did summer missions with BCM in 2002 but in different places. There's a summer missions poster with both of our pictures on it! 


I cried out to the Lord on Dec 4, 2010..the email came May 3, 2011..almost 6 months to the day. Wedding bells are in the future, but again waiting on the Lord to lead D to a full time ministry position (he's a youth minister!) Again, waiting on the Lord, a pattern here.  :)

This was us at Medieval Times. He's my Knight in Shining Camo ! (He's a HUGE deer hunter and yes, i've been hunting twice!) 


Can't wait to see how the rest of the story unfolds!

'Tis so Sweet to Trust In Jesus"

"Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take Him at His word,
Just to rest upon His promises, Just to trust His cleansing blood
Just to rest upon His promise Just to know "Thus saith the Lord."

"Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him, how I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! O, for grace to trust Him more!"

If anyone knows me at all, they know I love music. I tend to think "musically" at times and can often find songs to relate to what I'm feeling or trying to say. The old hymns are no exception. Don't get me wrong, I love the modern worship music of today but there's something about a hymn- so rich, so true, so simple. I grew up with hymns and often one will pop into my head for no apparent "reason." The reason: God speaking to me through it.

This evening, the above hymn popped into my head. But this time, there was a valid reason: God is telling me to gently trust Him..prodding me and pricking at my heart. There's a particular situation right now where I'm having to really really trust the Lord- probably more so than I ever have before. I can't talk about it here- it's nothing bad, but not something for blog land to hear about (all 4 of my readers!) So if you read this, say a little prayer for me: for wisdom, discernment and trust.

I was talking to my BFF tonight and I told her something that I've recently came to realize: I have a lot of fear. Now, there aren't a lot of things in life that scare me or hold me back- at least I want to think it or portray it. But there's a lot of fear deep down. Most of it is the fear of the unknown. Fear of what lies ahead, even though I'm ready for the future. She gently reminded me that the Bible is very clear about fear and anxiety and worry. To fear is not to trust the Lord. I say I trust the Lord, but do I really? I mean, really?? I think so many times we say we trust the Lord because if we say it, we'll believe it. But saying it and actually believing it are two totally different things. As I was talking to her about my fears, she said this was a prime time to start trusting the Lord now. NOW. I want it to become like breathing..so natural, something I don't have to think about. Oh, if it were only that easy.

I was talking to another dear friend tonight and she told me to be reminded that God has taken care of me my entire life. He has brought me so far..there is so much beauty from ashes. Redemption, leading me into the land of milk and honey, so much of His faithfulness when everything else around me crumbled. God is not going to leave me hanging..He has brought me too far. "Grace has brought me safe thus far and grace will lead me home." (pattern here- music!)

Even when I don't understand, even when I can't see two feet in front of me, the Lord is with me, hemming me in, giving me just enough light for the step i'm on. I have to trust- I have to. I'm commanded to do it: Prov 3: 5-6: Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understandings. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

As the line in "Tis So sweet to trust in Jesus": "how I've proved Him o'er and o'er." Oh yes, I've proved Him time and time again and He's been faithful.

Update- Yes, I'm still alive!

I know it's been forever since I've blogged (for all of my four readers!) I've been meaning to get to blogging regularly but well, life gets in the way. A lot has happened since my last post. Here's the brief rundown:

• I went to Brazil- amazing experience! It was very different from Rwanda in so many different ways. The trip stretched me and taught me so much about letting the Holy Spirit lead and move.





• Three of my close friends are having babies (one boy and one girl so far!) so I'm looking forward to loving those babies!!
  
  




• Work is steady busy and I've tranistioned to doing what I love about 98% of the time.
  




• My families are starting to come home with their children- love this part of my job!






• Portico has moved into the Palace- love my community!





• At the urgent plea of one my close friends, I tried online dating again...well, this time it worked!!!! I met a wonderful, godly guy and we've been dating since May. God's timing is all over this and I love how He works. Funny thing is D and I really could have known each other for years- our paths have interesected several times and we didnt' know it. The craziest is when my mom showed us the poster from BCM summer missions in 2002 with both of our pictures on it!!!!! D is everything I've prayed for and didn't even know I needed.

That's a picture of us at the top..can't get it to post to the bottom of the writing..suggestions? Anyway, that's a bit of what's going on with me...will try to be better about posting. :)

Post Africa Depression?

I've been back from Africa-Rwanda- for one week. The whole experience was amazing, humbling, frightening and uncomfortable all rolled into one. The "Post Africa Depression" hit me yesterday- I think because I finally had time to sit still long enough to think. What i write next may not make sense to anyone (not even to me!) but that's okay. I will likely be processing for years..I may never know this side of heaven all that I learned from Rwanda.

I went to Rwanda scared to death God would call me to live there. Not exactly why I thought that but I did. It didn't take me very long after we landed for me to realize this was not my calling. I can't explain it but I felt really uncomfortable, out of place, like I didn't belong there. The people were nice but Rwandans are generally distrustful of people they don't know- who can blame them? Their own neighbors murdered 1million people in 100 days. I was quickly reminded how this earth is not our home and that we are aliens in this land. I felt like an alien- I didn't belong there. I wrote in my journal, "God called me to go, not to stay."

One of the things we were first told when we arrived will forever be stamped into my heart...I pray I never forget it. "People are not going to remember what you said or what you did. They will remember how they felt when they were with you." I had an amazing experience at the orphanage (i blogged about it at www.voiceforrwanda.org/blog , "The Power of Touch") This statement summed up my orphanage experience.

I spent a lot of time during the trip wondering why I came, why God had brought me all this way to rwanda..and to be honest, I may never know. But I do know this: I'm not the same. Africa changes your view of everything. I think everyone needs to go to Africa just to get a dose of perspective. Things are much slower there, not hectic. People are grateful for help, there are pockets of hope visible in the midst of one of the worst acts of evil ever committed.

Here's what i wrote while I was on the plane: "My heart's desire is that I will not come back the same, that I will have a deeper love for the Lord, for his children, a passion for orphan work, a changed heart, new eyes, and a new vision." I am definitley not the same...and I will seek Him to find me.

Rwanda!

I'm not sure who all is reading this, but mainly I wrote this so I could say I blogged from AFRICA! I've been here 3 full days and already my head is spinning from all I've seen, heard, smelled, (Africa has its own smell!) but it's amazing. I'm sure I'll be processing for months to come. Check out our blog for the trip: www.voiceforrwanda.org