Sunday, February 14, 2010

Oh, How He Loves Me

What a weekend! Friday, we had a rarity in Louisiana..SNOW! and lots of it. It started thursday night and it was a light dusting, but sticking. By Friday morning, I had 5 inches in my yard. It was beautiful. I'll post pics soon. I went to my neighbor's house and had a snow ball fight with her little boy..we had a blast while his dad and sister built a snowman. I walked home in the blowing snow, but it was breathtaking. My magnolia tree was covered in fresh powder. Then I made snow ice cream. I probably didn't do it exactly right, but it tasted good and it didn't kill me!

This weekend, I hosted a group of 8th grade girls for our church's Disciple Now weekend. I was so excited to be able to open my home up for this. I have such fond memories of DNow's from high school and college. It was a little strange to be a host home rather than a leader. I got a lot of strange looks and plenty of "bless your heart"'s when people found out that I was single and doing this. This was my first "function" at my house and I'm so glad that it was D-now.

The theme this weekend was the "Purity Code" by Dr. Jim Burns. Fitting for Valentine's day weekend. The purity code talked about being pure in all areas of life, not just sexual purity. Honoring God with your body, renewing your mind, guarding your heart. Our girls were a little closed off to it, because they feel like all they hear is "don't have sex."

Our speaker was Chad Norrishttp:// Oh my, can he bring it!!!!! I was so challenged and so blessed. My thinking pattern was challenged. I began to look at purity a lifestyle in all areas. Over the next posts, I'll write more about what I brain is still processing it all.

Last night's worship was incredible. One of the things that Chad really hit on was that purity should be pursued because of the love that the Father has for us. He really talked about how much our lives would be different if we grasped how much God loves us. That totally blew my mind. I've been a Christian for half of my life, and have been in church my entire life. I sang "Jesus Loves Me" at age 4 at church. I have always heard that God loves me, that Jesus loves me, knew it in my head, but never really knew it in my heart. Chad said that we feel like God is walking around with a billy club waiting to hit us with it because we fail.
I've talked a bit about my struggle with depression here. The past few weeks haven't been horrible, but haven't been great either. combine that with Valentine's day, being single, being the MOH for my dear friend in a few months, being the last one still single, well you get the picture. I definitley did not feel loved by God. But that's exactly how Satan works...twisting our thoughts, our feelings, playing with our emotions, stealing our joy, destroying us. I realized last night just how much God loves me...enough to send Jesus to die for me, enough to delight in me. But in order to know this fully, I have to know Him. To know Him by being in His word. Another post there too!

I was feeling rather insecure about being a host home because I'm single. I told one of the breakout session speakers that I want to be very intentional about serving Him while I'm single, but at times I feel like I'm spinning my wheels, waiting for the next thing to happen. She told me to keep serving Him the now.

I want to fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and the perfector of my faith. I want to pursue Jesus as I pursue God in my singleness and in my pursuit of purity. This is going to mean some sacrifices: tv shows, my time, how i take care of myself, etc.

I've always loved David Crowder. After last night, I don't think I can listen to "Oh How He loves Us" the same ever again. Ever.

"He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the waves of his wind and mercy." That line has stuck with me all weekend. I woke up this morning, on valentine's day, not hating the day, not sad that I didn't get flowers or have someone special to tell me that they love me. My Father loves me. My Jesus loves me. He loves me fiercly. He is jealous for me. He is in passionate pursuit of my heart.

I don't usually ask for prayer on this blog, but I am now. I want what I learned this weekend to take root. I DO NOT WANT A SPIRITUAL HIGH. I want to be forever changed by what He has shown me. The Enemy does not like this at all. Pray that I will be disciplined in my pursuit of the Father, that I will be thirsty for more of Him, to know more and more of His love for me. That He is wild about me and is pursuing me passionately.

I know that this is lengthy, but my heart is overflowing. He is jealous for me.