Sunday, September 28, 2008

New Chapter

Okay, I know it's been awhile since I've posted!! But my computer is still sick and things have been crazy busy with work, life and Croatia! I leave two weeks from tommorrow! I'm so excited....I'm so grateful for the opportunity be able to go...God doesn't forget our secret dreams!

Today was sort of a milestone for me...but this time, in a good way. 9 years ago today, my ex-boyfriend, Shane, was killed in a forklift accident. (I think I mentioned him in a previous post...if not and you want to know about it, just ask. Don't really feel like typing it all out here..besides its not that important anymore.) Every year up until about the past 2 years, I've dreaded this day. I made sure that I was busy, either out of town, with friends, whatever, anything to keep me from thinking about it. Today, it hit me while driving home from BR, what day it was. As time went on, this day got easier, so much that I often have to stop and remind myself what day it was.

Today, instead of being sad, I was thankful. Truly thankful. Grateful. Thankful that God knew what He was doing all along, thankful for His sovereignity, thankful for the lessons that I learned, thankful for the way that He restored my broken heart and gave me new dreams, thankful for Shane being a part of my life, yet equally thankful that things did not turn out the way that I wanted them to. It was a sweet time of worship, just pouring my heart out to the Lover of My soul, to the Great Healer, who loves me. My soul welled up with thankfulness. 9 years ago, I never would have in a million years imagined this day...the day that I would be truly okay with the way that things turned out...that I would come to accept God's will, no matter how much it hurt. There were days when I could barely breathe...i felt like the air was sucked out of the room, that I couldn't quit crying, that I was so mad, that I just didn't understand. Now my days are filled with laughter, joy unspeakable, new hope, and new dreams.

I feel like a new chapter in my life is beginning. It's incredible to see how God has worked in my life over the past 9 years, and to where He brought me today. I remember in my grief, there were days when I was certain that I would never smile again. Over the past few days, I haven't stopped smiling! I was sure that my life was over...little did I know that it was just beginning. Oh, how God is good!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


Growing up in South La., we never had snow days. Instead we had hurricane days! You could usually bet that you would get at least one or two days off of school a year during hurricane season. Hurricane Andrew was the power for like a week! Ahh...bliss: being stuck inside with 90 degree temps, no tv, no nothing!

I was supposed to go vist my parents for Labor day, but Gustav changed my plans. So instead, I went to Dallas for the weekend...cheesecake factory, shopping, new stuff! I've been off of work yesterday and today because of the flash flooding. Luckily, i've not lost power. My parents on the other hand...not so lucky. They've been without power since Monday and it's not showing any signs of being back on any time soon. And my grandmother is staying with them because the nursing home lost power and was forced to evacuate. My mom's patience is wearing thin. My grandmother has Parkinsons and is on tons of medicine and doesn't handle change very well. So pray for them! It's been kind of nervewracking for me because I know they are safe but I can't go home and am not sure when I'll be able to get down there. At least the phone connections are better than Katrina.

The rain has been soothing at night to go to sleep, but certainly not when I nearly got stuck in my neighborhood yesterday. I was trying to be good and work out, but only got halfway out of my neighborhood before I decided to turn back. All this rain is making me in a funky mood! But at least the sun is out for now. More later!