Ruined

Last night, we were able to visit with Chris and Jill Shelby, who are missionaries to Rwanda and work with Peace House. When I went to Rwanda last year, we worked with the boys at Peace House, which is a house for street children. We did an art camp with them and had an absolute blast. Last night, we were able to hear how the boys were doing and all of the incredible work God is doing at Peace House and ministering to street children. (www.atn-rwanda.org/peace-house-ministries)

It's hart to believe it's been a year since I was in Rwanda. A lot has happened since then. Of course, the obvious- getting engaged. LOL But something else has happened since then: my calling to work with the orphan is stronger. I'll be honest- I'm not sure I desire to go back to Rwanda. I was obedient to the Lord and went and it totally changed my life. Now, Haiti- absolutley. Have no desire to live there but would go back.

Going to Rwanda and seeing orphanages first hand, seeing the children, hearing their stories. It did something to me. It ruined me.

Ruined- to reduce to ruins- devastate; to damage irreparably. (Webster).

I will never look at my ministry the same again. I will never look at the orphan crisis the same again. I will never look at my own adoption and rescue by Jesus the same again. I will never look at poverty the same again. I'm not the same person I was before I left. I told someone that I would probably never ever understand all that I learned from that trip this side of heaven. I'll be processing for years to come. A year later and i still catch myself reflecting on my time there.

My heart was damaged irreparably- it can't be what it once was. No. It was broken. It was ruined. It was rebuilt to slowly began looking like His heart. A line in a song "Hosanna": "Break my heart for what breaks yours."

I am ruined.