For a season

Disclaimer: This post may not make a bit of sense to anyone and it may seem like I'm complaining or moaning. It may contain references to being single, but that's where I am. but I need to vent- so there it is! :)

I love the holidays. I love spending time with both sides of the family and seeing my friends, being home long enough for mom to take care of me, having days where I don't have a plan for anything. I love my family but I long for having someone to share the holidays- someone that I can make memories of our own with. I dream of spending time with each other's families, buying presents for each other, starting new traditions. I kind of thought that this year would be a little different, but its not. So it's okay, but it hurts. Not going to lie.

At Thanksgiving this year, I got to meet my cousin's wife. They've only been married for 2 years, but I don't see this side of the family too often, so it was my first time to meet her. I love her..she's super sweet and she's my age so it gave me someone to talk to. I've always wanted to bring someone to the holidays. The ladies played the "Dirty Santa" game while the guys were in the other room watching football and doing other guy stuff. It made me kind of miss that I didn't have someone there in that other room, even though I thought maybe this year I would. My two closest friends here were both spending the holidays with their boyfriends. I thought that this year I would be too. We've never been dating anyone at the same time and have often talked about how fun it would be to do things together. I'm happy for them, yet I kind of feel left out. Like its always someone else but me.

I'm trying me darnest not to sit on the "pity potty" as my mom calls it. I know that the holidays are not about being with someone. I've been given the greatest gift, Jesus. I realize the true meaning of the season is not about me at all and know that every holiday won't be spent "as the single girl."

The holidays always make me kind of reflective and I also usually get this away about the end of the year- about 6 months before my birthday. Not sure why, but it almost always happens. I was really hoping that this year was going to be different. But I know that God isn't through, that He loves me for me, that He can see the bigger picture, and I''m so thankful that where I'm at right now is only for a season.