I am not responsible

Today, I'm learning a valuable lesson: that I cannot be nor am I responsible for other people's actions. You're probably thinking, "Well, duh!" But to a person in the helping profession or to someone whose spiritual gift is clearly mercy (and strongly at that) this can be difficult to understand sometimes. We want to fix things, to make them better, and in doing so, we often end up carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. There was a situation a few months ago that I was involved in that I was partly responsible for...(that's all I'm saying...I'm not getting into it here!) I let my emotions get the best of be and leapt before I looked closely and carefully. We both got hurt, got tangled. Well, I felt horrible for my role in it, even though the other person insisted that it wasn't me. But I knew that even in a small way, I had contributed to the problem. So I emailed this person and apologized and asked for forgiveness. This was a huge step for me, but it is very hard for me to admit that I'm wrong and ask for forgiveness. I also felt like that this person was questioning my motives and I told them that. I wasn't expecting for things to be all hunky dory after this, but I was hoping for some acknowledgement..."Hey, I forgive you." We didn't even have to continue our friendship, if they never wanted to speak to me again, fine too. What did I get.....Nothing. No response, no phone call...nothing. I knew that I needed to do this for me...because it was the right thing to do. It is very obvious that this person no longer wants any contact with me. I'm a people pleaser...usually this would bother me. But I realize that I did what I felt what was the right thing to do...if they can't see that, then do I really need them in my life anyway? Do I even want them in my life? I want to be surrounded by people that are going to love me for who I am, flaws and all, who are going to understand that I make mistakes, and who are going to offer forgiveness when I ask for it. I don't need people who are going to make me feel guilty or who are who are too self centered to see true genuiness. I'm not going to doubt myself...I did what I felt like God wanted me to do...and if that person can't see that..then okay. I can't worry about what other people do. It was my responsibility to ask for forgiveness and admit that I was wrong. I did that. It is not up to me to make them give me an answer or to even acknowledge my request. Yes, it would have been the polite thing to do. But I am not responsible for other people...I am only responsible for me.