Sunday, April 20, 2008

Scars

Scars

Scars. We’ve all had our fair share of them. We’ve got one from the time that we rolled off of our parent’s bed and hit the edge of the nightstand. And there’s the one from burning our hand after we touched the stove, even after we were told not to. And the ones that came from attempting to be Evil Knievel on our bikes or skates. And who can forget the scars that come from chicken pox. We just couldn’t resist scratching and picking!

We all have scars on the outside. Scars that are visible. But what about the scars on the inside? The ones that aren’t visible on the outside and the ones that we try so desperately to cover up or forget. The scars that come from years of addiction. The scar from the marriage that failed. The scar that came from the eating disorder. The scars from sexual abuse. No matter where they may have came from, the event leaves a mark. One that will not go away. Even though we wish that it would. We would do anything or give anything to make the scar go away.

What is a scar? Dictionary. Com gives two very profound definitions for scars.
a mark left by a healed wound, sore, or burn.

2.
a lasting aftereffect of trouble, esp. a lasting psychological injury resulting from suffering or trauma

The first definition is obvious. It is a mark that is left after something has healed from injury. This deals with the scars on the outside. This is how you know that an injury has occurred. The mark remains. The second definition best describes the invisible scars. The ones that no one else can see or that no one else knows exist. I am struck by the phrase “lasting aftereffect”. Scars are permanent, lasting. If something has an aftereffect, then you still feel the effects long after the injury as occurred. So this best describes our invisible scars. Even though the injury is long gone, the effects are not.

I came to this realization about scars after realizing that one of my scars was causing me great difficulty. It was a scar that no one knew that I had, not even my best friend. The scar of painful loss. My ex boyfriend was killed during my freshman year of college. We weren’t dating at the time, but we were still very close and had the accident not occurred, we probably would have gotten back together. Our relationship was different, strange at times, even. Our relationship was not always the best. He hurt me deeply. I was never good enough. Nothing I did seemed to make it work. I spent a tremendous amount of time and energy trying to prove myself and make him love me. I knew that he cared about me, but I knew that I would never mean as much to him as he meant to me.

When Shane died, my heart broke. I questioned God. I did not understand. I literally felt like I was going to die of a broken heart. I was not sure if my heart would ever heal. God slowly healed my heart. However, there was still a scar there. The scars of rejection, pain, and hurt. I felt like my heart had a huge scar running from side to side. Nearly ten years later, I was still feeling the pain of the scar.

I pleaded with God to remove the scar. I did not understand why it was still there, still causing me pain. I knew that over time, scars faded. This one still felt fresh and raw. I was praying one night and the Lord revealed something to me about scars. I felt Him gently tell me in my heart, “Scars are not a bad thing. They prove that you survived. They prove that you are still alive. They prove that you lived through the trial.” I can’t begin to tell you the peace that filled my heart as I took in those words.

I was reminded that Jesus had scars. The scars from where the nails pierced His hands and His feet. The scar from where the spear pierced His side. Even after Jesus had conquered death and rose from the grave, His scars remained. He showed the scars to Thomas. He had Thomas put his hand where the nails had pierced.

God could have removed the scars from Jesus’ hands, feet and side when He raised Him from the dead. He did not. I think that the scars were left to remind us that Jesus was human. He felt pain. He had scars just like we have. Jesus faced the most horrific death. He was beaten beyond recognition, had nails driven into His hands and His feet, had His side pierced, and had His head crowned with thorns.

Jesus was scarred. He lived to tell about it. He lived to tell about the tremendous pain that He went through at the cross, and of the victorious resurrection from the dead. He did not let the scars of the past dictate His future. He knew that they were there, but He also knew of the God who had healed Him.

We still may be dealing with the present hurting of our past scars. Put your hand in the Nail Scarred hand of Jesus. Let the precious redeeming blood that flowed from those hands cover your scars. Be reminded that you are alive. You survived. You lived through it. You are living today to tell about all that He has done for you.

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