It's been a while

I've been a horrible blogger! I passed my LCSW test! I'm so excited and relieved that this is over with and it only took me twice! I couldn't believe my eyes when the screen said "pass"...i kept blinking, expecting it to change to fail. I was telling a friend of mine that this has been a goal of mine for several years. The speaker at my high school baccalauarate service talked about the importance of setting goals and writing them down. I remember doing this and I came across the list a while back when I was at home. I remember some of them being: working in ministry, graduating with my social work degrees, achieving my LCSW, going to seminary. All have been achieved except for the seminary one and God has very clearly shut the door on that one for the time being. I remember something that the Lord spoke to my heart shortly before I graduated college: "Ashley, 50 years from now, it's not going to matter who you marry or how many kids you have or how many letters you have behind your name. What's going to matter the most is how you lived your life for Me." I think about this as I deal with young lives every day. I don't ever want to forget this.

I really feel like I'm in a season of sifting right now. So not fun! But I really feel like the Lord is sifting the clutter out of my life, out of my head, mind, and heart. I'm fasting from tv and facebook for an undetermined amount of time. I was kind of shocked by this revelation, but I really feel like it is what is needed to declutter and get rid of the noise so that I can clearly hear from God. I know that the sifting process involves grieving a situation in which in all honesty, has just been really hard to face. Kind of like its staring you in the face and you refuse to acknowledge it, thinking that its just an illusion. But what I do know, probably better than I wish I did, is that grief takes time. I took a grief class in grad school and found it fascinating to learn that grief is not necessarily related to a physical death, but its more often related to a loss--anything of value or importance, dreams included. I'm so thankful that hope does not disappoint. My God is a God of hope.