I'm still here! My computer is still sick, and I've finally gotten internet at work, but my blogs have not been consistent still, as I was reminded of this last night (thanks, Patrick!) A lot has been going on: new project at work finally is up and running, doctor's appointments and tests (I've had this sharp pain in my side for nearly two weeks..not fun!) getting ready to go to Croatia, life in general!
This weekend I went to columbia for my old youth minister's surprise 40th birthday/5 year church anniversary party. The kids were so excited to see Nana and made Nana feel extra special..ahh, i love these kids, but it's so nice to leave them at their house! LOL
So much has happened....a lot of reflection going on. But I will share this cool story that God has used to rock my world. A few posts back, I mentioned about my dear friend who was diagnosed with cancer and facing an uncertain road. About three weeks ago, he was having further tests to see what type of treatment needed to be done, stages, etc. Well, he called me a few days after he had the tests done and the doctors gave him a clean bill of health!!! No cancer any where! And on top of it...there was no evidence of scar tissue from the three previous surgeries nearly four years ago. I was speechless!!! I've heard of stories about people who have had this happened to them, but I never knew anyone personally. I saw how sick my friend was....so sick that he was in so much pain that he could barely lift his head. I was reminded of Thomas when Jesus told him to place his hands where the nails had been...that was the only way that Thomas would believe. Sometimes seeing is believing! This just reminded me of how God is truly the Great Physician and that He is still in the miracle business. I think sometimes we forget this. So look around, God still performs miracles! More later!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
i'm still alive
Just a quick update....i'm still here! my internet has been down on my computer at home and at work!!!! I promise I'll write more soon! But my news is this: I'M GOING TO CROATIA!!!! I'm super uber excited. It's a mission trip to lead a women's conference for missionary wives. I'm going as a counselor. I'm thrilled beyond belief, amazed at how God put all the pieces together. More soon
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Pondering, Processing, and Praying
Not much to write tonight, except that I could use really use your prayers right now. An incredible opportunity has presented itself, and I just need direction and clarity. I'll write more soon. It's exciting. And no, Dean, I'm not quitting my job. :)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
10 years ago
I was talking to my former youth minister's wife the other day and she was asking what year did the youth group first go to camp with them. It was the summer of 1998. 10 years ago! yikes! After I hung up with her, I thought back to that summer of 1998. The summer that would forever change my life. 10 years ago, I surrendered to the ministry. I know that as Christians, we are all called to the ministry, but I think that God calls us all to different ministries in different forms. Enough said...i really don't feel like getting into a theological debate over this one. LOL
I remember it as if it were yesterday. We were at Student Life camp at La. Tech. I was student leader with my youth minister. We had a group of middle schoolers. Ugh! To a soon to be senior in high school, middle schoolers, are well, uncool! :) The week was okay. I just didn't really feel like God was speaking to me or doing anything in my life that week. Oh, He was. I hadn't gotten to the last day of camp yet. The last session, Rick Ousley was speaking about committment and being called to serve God. He gave an invitation for people to come forward if they felt called to full time ministry. Well, of course, I didn't go down because He wasn't calling me. I stood in my seat, eyes closed and just worshiping Him. Then I heard Him. "Serve Me." So clearly. Right to my heart. I just stood there, not moving, not saying anything tears rolling down my face. My youth minister's wife, Jodi, was standing by me and I just turned to her and she hugged me. I couldn't say anything. (she later told me that she knew what was going on!) The next few days, I was a wreck. Did I hear God? What did that mean? Did He really call me? I knew that if I said yes to Him, then that was it...I had to obey.
The next week, I went to another camp with a different church. I spent that time just praying, asking God to show me what to do. Satan was having a field day with me...doubt, confusion, fear, the works. One day,during the week, I turned to Romans 11:29, "for God's call and his gifts are irrevocable." There was my answer. When I got back, I talked with my pastor. I still had no idea what it was that God was calling me to do. Bro. Bill told me that I didn't have to know right now. I just had to be obedient. God would show me. I had always thought about being a missionary or doing ministry work, but never felt the call. But now, God called me. And oh the places I would go.
God has given me some incredible opportunities over the past ten years. He lead me to a great BCM where I was challenged in my faith and learned so much about servant leadership. He fed my heart for missions by allowing me to be a summer missionary for two summers and go on various mission trips. I was a GA camp counselor. I taught countless preschool classes for VBS. I thought for sure that seminary was in the plan. It wasn't. God shut that door (or should I say, slammed it shut!) I could go on and on about all that He has shown me, but I don't think there would ever be enough room!
Along the way, God has clarified that call to ministry a bit. I still don't know exactly what my ministry entails. I don't have to know. He does. I remember after my last summer missions experience, I felt Him whisper, "Serve Me with your whole life." I've often wondered does that mean marrying a minister? Traveling overseas? Seminary? A few months ago, I seriously considered being a Journeyman with the IMB in Kenya. I told my parents and my boss. (both flipped out!) But I felt God leading me to do this. The door eventually closed, but my faith was challenged. God wanted me to be obedient.
As I was traveling today, I thought about my ministry over the past ten years. I thought, "Have I made God proud of me? Is He proud of how I've lived my life? Have I used this time or just wasted it?" I thought back to my senior year of college. Graduation was looming and I was more confused than ever. I really wanted to go to seminary, which didn't look it was going to happen. I knew I had to go to grad school, so I was faced with the decision between two schools. I kind of had the mentality of that I would meet my husband at the BCM. Well that certainly didn't happen! My friend, Joe, was speaking at our chapel about priorities. He said something that has stuck with me. "God shouldn't be a priority. He should be the page that we write our priorities on." As I listened, I felt God whisper to me, "50 years from now, it isn't going to matter how many letters you have behind your name,or rather you were married or not. What matters is how you lived your life for Me."
So now I have my dream job in ministry, but that still doesn't matter. No matter what I do, I'm going to live for Him.
I remember it as if it were yesterday. We were at Student Life camp at La. Tech. I was student leader with my youth minister. We had a group of middle schoolers. Ugh! To a soon to be senior in high school, middle schoolers, are well, uncool! :) The week was okay. I just didn't really feel like God was speaking to me or doing anything in my life that week. Oh, He was. I hadn't gotten to the last day of camp yet. The last session, Rick Ousley was speaking about committment and being called to serve God. He gave an invitation for people to come forward if they felt called to full time ministry. Well, of course, I didn't go down because He wasn't calling me. I stood in my seat, eyes closed and just worshiping Him. Then I heard Him. "Serve Me." So clearly. Right to my heart. I just stood there, not moving, not saying anything tears rolling down my face. My youth minister's wife, Jodi, was standing by me and I just turned to her and she hugged me. I couldn't say anything. (she later told me that she knew what was going on!) The next few days, I was a wreck. Did I hear God? What did that mean? Did He really call me? I knew that if I said yes to Him, then that was it...I had to obey.
The next week, I went to another camp with a different church. I spent that time just praying, asking God to show me what to do. Satan was having a field day with me...doubt, confusion, fear, the works. One day,during the week, I turned to Romans 11:29, "for God's call and his gifts are irrevocable." There was my answer. When I got back, I talked with my pastor. I still had no idea what it was that God was calling me to do. Bro. Bill told me that I didn't have to know right now. I just had to be obedient. God would show me. I had always thought about being a missionary or doing ministry work, but never felt the call. But now, God called me. And oh the places I would go.
God has given me some incredible opportunities over the past ten years. He lead me to a great BCM where I was challenged in my faith and learned so much about servant leadership. He fed my heart for missions by allowing me to be a summer missionary for two summers and go on various mission trips. I was a GA camp counselor. I taught countless preschool classes for VBS. I thought for sure that seminary was in the plan. It wasn't. God shut that door (or should I say, slammed it shut!) I could go on and on about all that He has shown me, but I don't think there would ever be enough room!
Along the way, God has clarified that call to ministry a bit. I still don't know exactly what my ministry entails. I don't have to know. He does. I remember after my last summer missions experience, I felt Him whisper, "Serve Me with your whole life." I've often wondered does that mean marrying a minister? Traveling overseas? Seminary? A few months ago, I seriously considered being a Journeyman with the IMB in Kenya. I told my parents and my boss. (both flipped out!) But I felt God leading me to do this. The door eventually closed, but my faith was challenged. God wanted me to be obedient.
As I was traveling today, I thought about my ministry over the past ten years. I thought, "Have I made God proud of me? Is He proud of how I've lived my life? Have I used this time or just wasted it?" I thought back to my senior year of college. Graduation was looming and I was more confused than ever. I really wanted to go to seminary, which didn't look it was going to happen. I knew I had to go to grad school, so I was faced with the decision between two schools. I kind of had the mentality of that I would meet my husband at the BCM. Well that certainly didn't happen! My friend, Joe, was speaking at our chapel about priorities. He said something that has stuck with me. "God shouldn't be a priority. He should be the page that we write our priorities on." As I listened, I felt God whisper to me, "50 years from now, it isn't going to matter how many letters you have behind your name,or rather you were married or not. What matters is how you lived your life for Me."
So now I have my dream job in ministry, but that still doesn't matter. No matter what I do, I'm going to live for Him.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Growing Pains
What a week this has been! Although it has been much better than last week, Praise the Lord!!! I am finally able to see accomplishment from the past 9 months and can see the fruit of the often tedious labor. My "baby" will hopefully arrive sometime next week...I don't mean a real baby, but my big project that feels like my baby. I had plans for the weekend with a friend, but that got changed. I found out that I have to be in SW LA on Monday for an adoption meeting, so i was planning on leaving on sunday. Then I found out I have to head to Baton Rouge for something but i can tie in a trip home, so a lot of traveling the next few days...not a great time to be out of the office, but it works.
Lately, I've been feeling the effects of growing pains. I'm growing up. Yikes! Not that I haven't already realized this, but now it just seems more obvious. I've been out of high school for 9 years, out of college for 5, out of grad school for 4, and have been a social worker for 4 years. It's so hard to believe how far God has brought me. I feel the pain of the stretching and growing that God has been doing in my life. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes we don't realize the beauty of the pain, the growing pains, until afterwards. I talked to someone today who had struggled with infertility for several years and was told that there was no way that she would conceive without medical intervention. Surprise!!! She's pregnant!!! and without any medical intervention! She told me that now she can see the beauty in the pain of infertility, of how God ordained every part of the journey, how He told her to simply "Be still and know that I am God."
The past few months have been some of the most difficult in my life. But I have seen God move, I have seen Him grow me in ways that I never thought were possible...the growing pains haven't been so bad after all.
Lately, I've been feeling the effects of growing pains. I'm growing up. Yikes! Not that I haven't already realized this, but now it just seems more obvious. I've been out of high school for 9 years, out of college for 5, out of grad school for 4, and have been a social worker for 4 years. It's so hard to believe how far God has brought me. I feel the pain of the stretching and growing that God has been doing in my life. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes we don't realize the beauty of the pain, the growing pains, until afterwards. I talked to someone today who had struggled with infertility for several years and was told that there was no way that she would conceive without medical intervention. Surprise!!! She's pregnant!!! and without any medical intervention! She told me that now she can see the beauty in the pain of infertility, of how God ordained every part of the journey, how He told her to simply "Be still and know that I am God."
The past few months have been some of the most difficult in my life. But I have seen God move, I have seen Him grow me in ways that I never thought were possible...the growing pains haven't been so bad after all.
Monday, July 21, 2008
About me
I saw this on Lots of Scotts http://www.lotsofscotts.blogspot.com.. thought it might be fun for something different!
What were you doing 10 years ago?Getting ready to start my senior year of high school and dreading graduation ( for some reason, I was terrified!)
Favorite Snacks:chocolate chip cookies, fruit, yogurt
To Do List: not a huge fan of this, but my new job is forcing me to like it...what's on it: for work, too much to list!
Jobs I Have Had:Babysitter, file clerk, social worker, camp counselor, summer missionary
Places I Have Lived: Just Louisiana, if you don't count living in rural NW Arkansas for 10 weeks!
Bad Habits:eating out way too much, being a clutter bug, not listening very well
5 Random Things People May Not Know
1. I played basketball against Britney spears. No lie! 2. I have an autograph of Matthew McCaunaughey (signed to me!) 3. I sang at Hound Dog Hot Dog stand in Nashville, where Tim McGraw was discovered. 4. I love fitness magazines, but am not a huge fan of exercise,(although I did go work out tonight!) 5. I was a summer missionary for two summers.
.CDs I would want if stranded on an island:Chris Tomlin, Andy Davis, Josh Groban, Celine Dion
What I'd Do if I Were a Billionaire: buy a house, buy my parents a new house, adopt a child, go to seminary, travel, donate to missions, go overseas on a mission trip.
I tag: Sara, Leslie, Laura.
What were you doing 10 years ago?Getting ready to start my senior year of high school and dreading graduation ( for some reason, I was terrified!)
Favorite Snacks:chocolate chip cookies, fruit, yogurt
To Do List: not a huge fan of this, but my new job is forcing me to like it...what's on it: for work, too much to list!
Jobs I Have Had:Babysitter, file clerk, social worker, camp counselor, summer missionary
Places I Have Lived: Just Louisiana, if you don't count living in rural NW Arkansas for 10 weeks!
Bad Habits:eating out way too much, being a clutter bug, not listening very well
5 Random Things People May Not Know
1. I played basketball against Britney spears. No lie! 2. I have an autograph of Matthew McCaunaughey (signed to me!) 3. I sang at Hound Dog Hot Dog stand in Nashville, where Tim McGraw was discovered. 4. I love fitness magazines, but am not a huge fan of exercise,(although I did go work out tonight!) 5. I was a summer missionary for two summers.
.CDs I would want if stranded on an island:Chris Tomlin, Andy Davis, Josh Groban, Celine Dion
What I'd Do if I Were a Billionaire: buy a house, buy my parents a new house, adopt a child, go to seminary, travel, donate to missions, go overseas on a mission trip.
I tag: Sara, Leslie, Laura.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Without Schedules
I have had a great weekend, especially since it started on Friday! I didn't really do anything special or anything that I had to do, which made it even better. I slept in, had coffee with a friend, went window shopping at some stores that I will never shop at and now know why I don't shop there! (250.00 for a dress...not for me!) Spent some time at hobby lobby, ate a delicious chocolate with peanut butter icing cupcake from Curlz's Cupcakes (if you haven't been there yet, you're missing out!) painted, not a whole lot of anything that I absolutley had to do. Then today, I slept really late (10:30!!) and then decided to have some friends over for dinner, ran to Walmart, cleaned, and made peach cobbler. Ahhh....it was so nice to just go at my own pace.
Tonight, I had my friends, Brooklyn and Foshe, over for dinner. They are getting ready to move to Nashville next week. I first met Foshe when he came to our life group last summer then met Brooklyn when they started dating. They got married in December and I had the honor of singing at their wedding. (What a day that was....due to major traffic issues, I got to the church right as the wedding was supposed to start!!) We just talked about life, their move, nothing in particular. As we sat there talking, I was kind of sad. Sad that this would probably be the last time that we were all living the same area, sad that I wouldn't get to see them at church anymore, but most of all, sad that we didn't get to know each other better. I mean, we're friends, and we hang out, but really get to know them.
Life gets in the way sometimes. We get busy. We put it off until later. Then later comes and it's too late. The moment has passed. Tonight, I brought some leftover cobbler to a friend who just moved into my apt.complex. I was thinking, "Why don't I do this more often for people?" I love doing things for others. It's just that sometimes, I get so precoccupied with me. I can barely keep up with my own schedule, barely make time to get the necessary things done. Doing for others kind of falls to the wayside.
I kind of liked living without a schedule for the past few days. It has birthed in me a desire to be more intentional, less rigid. It made me realize that life is so busy, that I need to slow down. I hope that you can experience one day without a schedule....it's a challenge!
Tonight, I had my friends, Brooklyn and Foshe, over for dinner. They are getting ready to move to Nashville next week. I first met Foshe when he came to our life group last summer then met Brooklyn when they started dating. They got married in December and I had the honor of singing at their wedding. (What a day that was....due to major traffic issues, I got to the church right as the wedding was supposed to start!!) We just talked about life, their move, nothing in particular. As we sat there talking, I was kind of sad. Sad that this would probably be the last time that we were all living the same area, sad that I wouldn't get to see them at church anymore, but most of all, sad that we didn't get to know each other better. I mean, we're friends, and we hang out, but really get to know them.
Life gets in the way sometimes. We get busy. We put it off until later. Then later comes and it's too late. The moment has passed. Tonight, I brought some leftover cobbler to a friend who just moved into my apt.complex. I was thinking, "Why don't I do this more often for people?" I love doing things for others. It's just that sometimes, I get so precoccupied with me. I can barely keep up with my own schedule, barely make time to get the necessary things done. Doing for others kind of falls to the wayside.
I kind of liked living without a schedule for the past few days. It has birthed in me a desire to be more intentional, less rigid. It made me realize that life is so busy, that I need to slow down. I hope that you can experience one day without a schedule....it's a challenge!
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