10 years ago

I was talking to my former youth minister's wife the other day and she was asking what year did the youth group first go to camp with them. It was the summer of 1998. 10 years ago! yikes! After I hung up with her, I thought back to that summer of 1998. The summer that would forever change my life. 10 years ago, I surrendered to the ministry. I know that as Christians, we are all called to the ministry, but I think that God calls us all to different ministries in different forms. Enough said...i really don't feel like getting into a theological debate over this one. LOL

I remember it as if it were yesterday. We were at Student Life camp at La. Tech. I was student leader with my youth minister. We had a group of middle schoolers. Ugh! To a soon to be senior in high school, middle schoolers, are well, uncool! :) The week was okay. I just didn't really feel like God was speaking to me or doing anything in my life that week. Oh, He was. I hadn't gotten to the last day of camp yet. The last session, Rick Ousley was speaking about committment and being called to serve God. He gave an invitation for people to come forward if they felt called to full time ministry. Well, of course, I didn't go down because He wasn't calling me. I stood in my seat, eyes closed and just worshiping Him. Then I heard Him. "Serve Me." So clearly. Right to my heart. I just stood there, not moving, not saying anything tears rolling down my face. My youth minister's wife, Jodi, was standing by me and I just turned to her and she hugged me. I couldn't say anything. (she later told me that she knew what was going on!) The next few days, I was a wreck. Did I hear God? What did that mean? Did He really call me? I knew that if I said yes to Him, then that was it...I had to obey.

The next week, I went to another camp with a different church. I spent that time just praying, asking God to show me what to do. Satan was having a field day with me...doubt, confusion, fear, the works. One day,during the week, I turned to Romans 11:29, "for God's call and his gifts are irrevocable." There was my answer. When I got back, I talked with my pastor. I still had no idea what it was that God was calling me to do. Bro. Bill told me that I didn't have to know right now. I just had to be obedient. God would show me. I had always thought about being a missionary or doing ministry work, but never felt the call. But now, God called me. And oh the places I would go.

God has given me some incredible opportunities over the past ten years. He lead me to a great BCM where I was challenged in my faith and learned so much about servant leadership. He fed my heart for missions by allowing me to be a summer missionary for two summers and go on various mission trips. I was a GA camp counselor. I taught countless preschool classes for VBS. I thought for sure that seminary was in the plan. It wasn't. God shut that door (or should I say, slammed it shut!) I could go on and on about all that He has shown me, but I don't think there would ever be enough room!

Along the way, God has clarified that call to ministry a bit. I still don't know exactly what my ministry entails. I don't have to know. He does. I remember after my last summer missions experience, I felt Him whisper, "Serve Me with your whole life." I've often wondered does that mean marrying a minister? Traveling overseas? Seminary? A few months ago, I seriously considered being a Journeyman with the IMB in Kenya. I told my parents and my boss. (both flipped out!) But I felt God leading me to do this. The door eventually closed, but my faith was challenged. God wanted me to be obedient.

As I was traveling today, I thought about my ministry over the past ten years. I thought, "Have I made God proud of me? Is He proud of how I've lived my life? Have I used this time or just wasted it?" I thought back to my senior year of college. Graduation was looming and I was more confused than ever. I really wanted to go to seminary, which didn't look it was going to happen. I knew I had to go to grad school, so I was faced with the decision between two schools. I kind of had the mentality of that I would meet my husband at the BCM. Well that certainly didn't happen! My friend, Joe, was speaking at our chapel about priorities. He said something that has stuck with me. "God shouldn't be a priority. He should be the page that we write our priorities on." As I listened, I felt God whisper to me, "50 years from now, it isn't going to matter how many letters you have behind your name,or rather you were married or not. What matters is how you lived your life for Me."

So now I have my dream job in ministry, but that still doesn't matter. No matter what I do, I'm going to live for Him.