What Family Looks Like....

November is the month for Thanksgiving and is usually when we talk about what we are thankful for (even though we need to be thankful all of the time-not just one time of the year.) Last night, I was reminded of one thing that I am truly thankful for...family. Yes, I'm thankful for my parents and my extended family, but last night I was thankful for my "adopted family."(not really the word I was looking for, but I couldn't think of what else to call it.)

I think that as a single person, you begin to define family differently. The definition changes and your circle expands. I've known the H family for probably all of my 27 years. J and I went to the same church and her parents have known my parents, and she was my children's choir director. She married E and they had D. I changed his diapers! Then they had their Princess D and shortly after that, E became my youth minister. Princess D and I have a bond like nothing else I've ever experienced. I love her like she is my own. She couldn't say my name when she was little so she started calling me "Nana." 11 years later, I'm still Nana. I remember her chubby arms reaching for me to hold her and her sticking her lip out when I didn't do what she wanted me to do. Then came A, who is 100% boy. Ahh, I love that kid. I can still remember him singing "Jesus Loves Me" on the phone to me when he was about 3...made Nana's heart smile. On a recent visit, out of the blue, A asks me, "Nana, are you fam-i-lee?(that's how it sounded!) And I said, "Well, I'm kind of like family." He replied, "Then, how come you don't look like my mama?" (they are all blue eyed and blonde haired--if you know me, I'm not!!) The H's are a constant presence in my life. Besides going to church with them, I would stop by to see them on my home from college on the weekends. When I started grad school, they moved to North La. A year later, I followed.

I can't begin to describe how much this family means to me. E has been a great example of obedience to me. J is the big sister that I've never had. She has listened to me moan about being single, listened to my frustrations at work, and let me crash at her house on the weekends. Last night, we were talking about how the kids were growing up so fast (they are 14, 11, and 6..yikes!) J made the comment about a situation with Princess D. She said, "I wanted to tell her...talk to your Nana about this!" That made me laugh. And feel needed. And feel loved.

As a social worker, my help is often not wanted by people. And certainly, in their mind, not needed. There are many days where I feel defeated, like I'm wasting my time, feeling a failure. And sometimes, being single makes it worse. I know that marriage is not everything, but it would be nice to feel valued, needed.

I've realized that in this season of singleness, God does a variety of things to meet my needs. He has given me friends that are amazing, adventures that I could have only dreamed about, and family that loves me. Even if they look a little different from me.