Long time, no post...not really much to say

Tess, this is for you!I know it's been a while since I've posted. Things have been busy, busy. Here are a few things that have happened in my world since I last posted.

• Celebrated my 28th birthday. 30 is inching closer!
• Went to Hot Springs, AR and had the bath house experience. I also experienced falling into a koi pond, ate some of the best salsa in the world and then the next day, slipped and wore the salsa!
• I became an aunt! Vivienne Rose made her grand entrance on July 3. Auntie A got to meet her a few weeks ago and she is beautiful. I told her that she was going to be my flower girl and she just grinned.
• My friends Lyndsey and Alex got married on July 4 and the wedding and reception were fabulous!
• Had a blind date....another one bites the dust.
• Had my first get together at my house.
• Started a little flower garden on my back patio and are growing mint- haven't killed it yet!
• Getting further and further along the road to contentment of being single. God is so good!!

Okay, not much going on. I'll try to update more often!

Time Flies

I know it's been a little while, as Tess reminded me the other day. (I told her that I'll just have to keep running into her to remind me to update!) A lot has happened the past few weeks, but the biggest is: I NOW OWN A HOUSE!!!-okay, so i'm just a tad excited. Yesterday, after the blinds people left from measuring the blinds, I nearly did a cartwheel in my living room..my living room! I refrained myself because I didn't want to hurt myself, so I did the happy dance and squealed instead. Don't worry....i'll post pictures soon. I love my house! As I was signing my life away yesterday, I kept thinking, "I don't believe this...this is crazy!" But I love it- I can't wait to get it fixed up and have people over and just love the space-no more cramped apartment living.

The other night, I passed by the local college where a high school graduation was being held. Oh, the memories it brought back. Ten years ago, I was graduating high school. I was thinking about this the other day. I remember how scared I was, yet excited. The thought of college scared the mess out of me. I was an adult, but I longed to stay like Peter Pan forever. The thought of being in the real world scared me so much. I remember crying to my mom the first two weeks of school, "I don't look like I should be in college, I don't feel like I should be in college....so why am I here????" My whole life was ahead of me....all the dreams that I had for myself. But all how life changes in the blink of an eye.

My college years were some of the best and the toughest years of my life. I grew so much in relationship with God. I began to experience Him for myself in ways that were unique to me. I made friendships that would last a lifetime. I also experienced grief in a way that I thought would kill me. I had countless experiences. I fell in love with missions and servanthood. I began to discover who I was in Christ and the plans that He had for me. I remember how scared I was when I graduated college. (Are we seeing a pattern here? I'm not a huge fan of change! but who is?) It was three weeks before graduation and I had no idea where I was going to grad school, i was leaving all of my friends and everything familiar behind me. I had no clue what God was doing.

I moved home for grad school and went to LSU-the hardest year of my academic life. It was horrible! But I graduated- I had never been so glad to get a piece of paper in my life! There was still that fear of the unkown, but mixed with excitement too. I had no idea where I was going to live, but somehow knew that it would be okay. God answered my prayers so specifically and it was a new lesson in faith for me.

I moved nearly 200 miles away from home and knew three people in the city that I moved to. Iremember thinking, "What am I doing here? God, where are you?" I knew that God had called me here, but it felt like I was wandering in the desert. The first year was pretty rough. But God is forever faithful.

Nearly 28 years on earth, 10 years out of high school, 6 years out of college, 5 years out of grad school, here I am: living the life that He has called me to do. Now it hasn't been easy and there are some days when I don't understand anything at all, but God has just blessed me tremendously, in ways more than I can ever ask or imagine. He is so faithful when I'm not. Praising Him that He uses broken lights and cracked pots. Thanking Him for the beauty in the ashes, the blessing from the heartache, seeing His goodness and mercies are new every day (even when they are hard to see.) I can only imagine what the next 10 years hold!

He's in the details

Today, I've been blown away at how God is involved in the seemingly insignificant details of our lives. My house stuff has been a major long drawn out process. But God allowed me to close two weeks later, kept my apartment available, so that I would have plenty of time to move in, paint and all that other fun stuff, without having to be in such a time crunch. With MY original plan, it was going to be a tight, tight deadline. But today, He showed me that He's taking care of me.

Right now, I'm in Dallas for the Christian Orphan Alliance conference. I'm the only one going from my job and I was a little worried how I was going to navigate the logistics of travel from the hotel to the conference, etc. Last night, I prayed, "Lord, take care of this." Well, I get to the hotel and find out that the hotel is offering a shuttle to the conference (which they were not originally). And then at dinner, I end up eating at a table with three girls from Minnesota who are going to the conference too...and we're staying next door to each other! So, not only do I have a way to the conference, but I don't have to ride by myself either. I love it how God works, even when we forget that He is always around us. Are you looking for Him in the details?

He doesn't forget

Today is one of those days, or rather should I say one of those weeks. Work has been a little more hectic than usual. I was supposed to be in my house as of Wednesday, but now it looks like it may not be until the 1st of next week. It's not that big of a deal, but I've got a narrow time frame and this just makes it narrower. Throw in a lack of communication with the bank and it just makes it a little more hectic.

This morning, a dear friend of mine told me something that she read in her devotion, "I can't change things. But God can." How I needed to hear that. I know that this situation (and so is everything in life for that matter) is completely out of my control but God is fully in control. He's so capable. He is so God and I'm not.

I had an interesting thing that happened this week and it again made me marvel at how God works. A little backstory first: When i was college, one of my BCM friends was in the National Guard and deployed to Cuba. Before he left, he gave several of us names of people in his unit to pray for while they were deployed. My name was a guy named Matt. Well, I prayed for Matt. I never knew anything about him, never heard from him, didn't know anything. That was in 2002. Fast fwd to 2009. I "became friends" on FB with a girl that I went to high school with. Rebecca was a few classes ahead of me. We haven't been in touch since high school (almost 12 years for her!)I saw on her info that she was married to a guy named Matt who had the same last name as my prayer buddy Matt. It's not a very common last name and I was curious to see if it was the same one. So i emailed her to see if her husband was in the guard and deployed at that time. Turns out, it was the same Matt!!!!! I just thought that was the coolest thing....that I was praying for him while they were dating and he was deployed. I love how God works and how He doesn't forget important things. I know that He forgets our sins and I'm so thankful for that...but you know what I mean when i say that He doesn't forget.

This morning, I was thinking about that story and about everything going on right now. I'm so thankful that God doesn't forget. That He doesn't forget about me. That He doesn't forget the secret desires of my heart, the dreams that I have for myself, the secret dreams that no one else knows (going to Croatia was one of those.....i had always dreamed of going overseas and knew that I would one day, but no one else knew that.)

He doesn't forget that I desire to be a wife and a mom above being a social worker. He hasn't forgotten about what He showed me about being in ministry while I was in GA. He hasn't forgotten all the things that He whispers to my heart, even when I'm not still long enough or quiet enough to hear them. He hasn't forgotten about the the hard times of the past few months. He hasn't forgotten about the time I spent in the wildnerness of grief, wondering if I was ever going to find my way out of it. He hasn't forgotten about the times that I question Him, wondering if dissapointment is around the corner again. He hasn't forgotten about the calling that He has placed on my life, even before I was born.

At times, it is so easy to get discouraged and get bogged down with what we don't see or what is going around in our lives. But God doesn't forget about us....for that I'm thankful.

Blind date Blog

Since everyone on Facebook seemed to be so curious about my blind date, here it goes. :) It was actually a lot of fun, even though I don't see it really going anywhere. He's friends with one of my really good friends, so we double dated with her and her fiance. We ate at Brandy House and had Bananas foster for dessert (so good!) and then went to starbucks. It was very relaxing, not awkward at all and it beat staying home on Friday night cleaning toilets. He lives 2 hours away and I think that we're in 2 very different places in our lives, but all in all, it was one of the more enjoyable blind dates.

House stuff is moving right along...hoping to close on the 15th, maybe sooner. Yikes! Sorry this is so short and boring, but I don't really have much to say! More later.

I'm a big girl now??

It's been a few weeks since I've posted (as it was pointed out to me last night by my friend Tess) but it has been a wild few weeks, to say the least. Here a few of the highlights:

• I bought a house!!!!! I close on Tax day. It all happened so fast, but God has opened every door and the process has gone smoother than I had anticipated. If you're in my area, I know great realtor! I had looked at the house about 2 weeks ago, then last weekend, I went to look at it with my realtor, Sunday made an offer and by Monday after lunch- I was on my way to owning a home. Yikes!!! The only thing I have to do is paint- I don't really like the neutral color that is in the entire house. I have to be out of my apt. on the 30th, so needless to say I've started packing already, because the 8 weeks or so in between now and the 30th are crazy. I love my house--it's in a great location and my close friend lives one street over.
• I'm going to have a niece this summer! My BFF Jessica and her hubby Corey are having a little girl! Vivenne Rose should arrive mid July. Auntie A has already started buying girly clothes. I got the cutest little LSU cheerleader outfit...she should be able to wear it for football season. Jess, if you're reading this...don't worry--I've been scouting the sale and clearance racks! :)
• I got to enjoy one of the "perks" of my job last week- scabies. OMG!!!! It was absolutley horrible. It was like having poision ivy on steroids...I itched so bad. But I'm cured now and have to be treated again in 7 days. this meant that we had to treat eveyrone in the cottage...fun times.
• I passed my LCSW!!! ( I think I already mentioned that--but I'm really excited-its' over with!)
• I got to see 4Him in concert last night. It was the first time they've performed together in 3 years-it was so good. Very refreshing. I needed that time to just unwind and worship in the worst possible way.
• I could really use some prayer right now. I'm not going to get into specifics, but if you want to know-just ask me.

I still can't believe that I bought a house. Its one of those things that I kind of thought that I would be married when I did, but honestly, there hasn't been a lot of sadness with this.

God is so good. Someone told me last week that God has been so good and gracious to me. I needed to hear that and be reminded of that. He has---I just tend to forget that sometimes. He has opened doors for me that blow me away, put people in my life that love me just when I need it the most, continues to meet my every need, constantly reminding me of His faithfulness. One of my favorite 4 Him songs is "where there is faith." I was really hoping that they would sing it last night and they did. One of my favorite lines of that song is "Hope everlasting in He who is able to Bear every Burden, to heal every hurt in my heart It is a wonderful, powerful place Where there is faith." I was convicted a bit when i heard that line, because sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I feel like I don't trust God enough. I woke up this morning feeling so peaceful- knowing that He is forever faithful.

It's been a while

I've been a horrible blogger! I passed my LCSW test! I'm so excited and relieved that this is over with and it only took me twice! I couldn't believe my eyes when the screen said "pass"...i kept blinking, expecting it to change to fail. I was telling a friend of mine that this has been a goal of mine for several years. The speaker at my high school baccalauarate service talked about the importance of setting goals and writing them down. I remember doing this and I came across the list a while back when I was at home. I remember some of them being: working in ministry, graduating with my social work degrees, achieving my LCSW, going to seminary. All have been achieved except for the seminary one and God has very clearly shut the door on that one for the time being. I remember something that the Lord spoke to my heart shortly before I graduated college: "Ashley, 50 years from now, it's not going to matter who you marry or how many kids you have or how many letters you have behind your name. What's going to matter the most is how you lived your life for Me." I think about this as I deal with young lives every day. I don't ever want to forget this.

I really feel like I'm in a season of sifting right now. So not fun! But I really feel like the Lord is sifting the clutter out of my life, out of my head, mind, and heart. I'm fasting from tv and facebook for an undetermined amount of time. I was kind of shocked by this revelation, but I really feel like it is what is needed to declutter and get rid of the noise so that I can clearly hear from God. I know that the sifting process involves grieving a situation in which in all honesty, has just been really hard to face. Kind of like its staring you in the face and you refuse to acknowledge it, thinking that its just an illusion. But what I do know, probably better than I wish I did, is that grief takes time. I took a grief class in grad school and found it fascinating to learn that grief is not necessarily related to a physical death, but its more often related to a loss--anything of value or importance, dreams included. I'm so thankful that hope does not disappoint. My God is a God of hope.