Stormie Omartian wrote a book called, "Just Enough Light For the Step I'm On." I don't think that I've ever read the whole thing, just bits and pieces. The book talks about God guiding us through trials in life. So many times, I want to see the big picture. I want to know where the path is going to lead me, where exactly it is that I am going on this crazy journey. But God only shows me just enough...just enough light for the step that I need to take.
I am amazed at my God right now. I'm in a really good place in my life right now. 8 months ago, that was a totally different story. About 8 or 9 months ago, I felt like God calling me to apply for a position with the IMB in Kenya...that's right, Kenya. (As my mom said, "You mean half-way around the world Kenya?" I told my parents about it (not exactly a warm response...their only child telling them that she wanted to move to Africa), told my supervisor of my beginning steps of the process, had come up with a plan of what I needed to do...above all else I wanted to be obedient. But God had different plans. Kenya was put on the backburner for a bit because of other things that He was doing in my midst. I truly believe that God didn't intend for me to end up in Kenya right now, He wanted to see if I was going to trust Him enough to abandon everything and be obedient...I was willing to go. Who knows..one day, I may end up overseas, but for right now, I'm where I'm supposed to be. Things with my job situation changed in such a way that can only be described as the hand of God and of His favor. No other way to put it. In the months prior to the change and for a bit afterwards, I felt like I was stuck on a mountain. I knew that God was going to carry me through to the other side, but I wanted to get on the other side right away. I was tired, battered, bruised, burned out, broken, angry, frustrated, just to name a few. I had no clue where He was leading me.
To think that 8 months ago, I thought that right now, I'd be preparing to move halfway around the world. God slowly unfolded the path. He gave me just enough light for the step that I was on. No more. He wanted me to keep going forward, to keep walking by faith, even when I found it nearly impossible to believe. I felt like He had left me....and taken the light with Him. Sometimes, I can be a bit passive-agressive with God. "I'm not going to talk to You because You aren't doing things my way...so there." But He gently scoops me up in His arms and listens to my heart...the words that I can't say or don't know how to say. He showed me that His ways are higher than mine.
He gives me just enough light for the step I'm on. "He leadeth me, He leadeth me. By His own hand, He leadeth me."
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