It's been a while and it's time for a new post, as I was told by my one faithful reader! My birthday was a lot of fun...I got to spend my actual birthday with my 2nd family the Harrimans, and the kids just loved on their Nana, which made me feel so loved. Then Memorial day, i celebrated with my LIFE group at O charley's. It was a fun night.
Work has been interesting. My "baby" that I have been birthing for the past 6 months is approaching its due date...just a few minor things to correct for licensing. Considering that the regulation manual is like 35 pages and we started from scratch, I'm happy. So is my supervisor! (that's makes me even more happier!) Work has been rather difficult the past few months and God kept telling me that everything was going to be okay. I heard Him, I just wasn't seeing anything...not seeing that things were going to be okay. I felt like yelling at Him, wanting to say, "What does okay look like?????'Cause this is not it!!" Well, this week, He answered my prayer. He showed me that things were going to be okay. I'm not about to get into it here, but it reminded me that He hasn't forgotten about me...that He sees me. He moves in ways that we least expect.
Okay about the title. Brace yourself...this may sound like I'm whining or complaining, but I'm not. I'm just being honest. I've been missing someone lately. Strange thing is, I don't know his name, nor have I met him (at least I don't think I have!) I've been missing my future husband. I get like this from time to time, where it is just this overwhelming sense that someone is missing from my life-usually around my birthday. I think about all the things that I want to tell him, that I want to share about my day, about my dreams, my passion for my job, my love for him. I love him and I don't even know what he looks like or who he is! I want to serve Him together, wherever that takes us. I want us to have couple friendships--to be able to share my best friend and her husband with him. I wonder what he is doing today, where he is working, about his family, if he is praying for me, where we will meet, all that jazz. I pray for him, I pray for his family, I pray for our family. A few months ago, I heard about something that a pastor did before he met his wife. He wrote down a list of what he wanted in a wife and then he began to pray specifically over that list. A short time later, he met his wife and she was all and beyond what he had prayed for. This challenged me. Sure, I had the "list", but this was different. I made the new list with very specific things to be praying for in a husband. This list moved beyond the shallow "tall, dark and handsome". My top two requirements: Love God more than he loves me and realize that God loves me more than he ever will. So I'm praying with eager anticipation.
Back to missing him. It's kind of crazy when I think about it. Can I really miss someone that I've never met? Can I love someone that I don't even know their name? Does he even exist? As I was thinking about this and missing him, I was reminded of something that God showed me several years ago. I was a senior in college, approaching graduation. One night during our BCM worship service, I felt God speak to my heart, " 50 years from now, it is not going to matter how many letters you have behind your name, or whether you were married or not. What matters is how you lived your life for Me." My friend Joe was speaking that night on priorities when God revealed this to me. It has stuck with me ever since. It kind of gives me a reality check when I get too far ahead of God or when I feel like I'll be single forever. Today, I met with a couple who were both in their early 30's when they married. She told me that she thought that it was best to get married when you were out of your 20's because you don't focus on the petty things and you are able to see what it is important and because you have life experience. It really got to me thinking....now, I hope I get married before I'm 30, but if not it's okay!
So during my times of missing him, I need to draw closer to Him..the One who knows my name, the very number of the curls on my head, the One who has my heart....who sees me, who knows it all. But above all this, He loves me.
3 comments:
I stumbled on your blog after checking out some of the comments on Angie Smith's blog. Frankly, I feel like I am reading my own blog! I am 29 years old and am waiting for my husband as well. I just wanted you to know that you aren't the only one out there, that God hears you, He hasn't forgotten, and He ALWAYS follows through on His promises!!!!
Be blessed and encouraged while you are in God's waiting room!
Hey Beauty! I too found your blog by checking out the comments from Angie's blog. What caught my eye was your name....Beauty for Ashes! That has been one of my key phrases in my life... and has special meaning to me so I thought I would come check your blog out...
As a 37 year old single female, I can relate to your blog on missing him.... I hold onto the fact that we serve a God who is faithful and loving. Who knows exactly what I need and what I am looking for...I wish He would hurry....but I want it to be in His timing and not mine.
A couple of years back I was challenged to write my letter to my husband (future)...I did that. It's not a list per se...but what I have been praying for in that person. I refer back to it often...
And I wait...knowing that in time that all this "waiting" will make sense.
Be Blessed and encouraged that your future husband is out there...
S.
hey girly! i didn't know you had a blogspot, but thats awesome :) i love what you said in this post...and yes, it is possible to miss someone you've never met...i missed Paul before i met him, but i didn't even know it was him i was missing until God opened my eyes (although everyone else knew he was the one, lol)! anyways, keep finding your hope in Jesus and i promise promise promise, when its time, your prince will come, and he WILL be more than you prayed for and than you ever expected! thanks for your prayers for us...i will see you soon as well :) love ya <3
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